We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
