This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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