All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
