Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was like getting head from an anaconda
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
