Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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