what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
