so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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