God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize