is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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