shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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