We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize