oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
