Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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