My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
