think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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