We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
