i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
