when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize