is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
