Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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