so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
