We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
