how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
