I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
zippers are such a cool invention
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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