perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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