If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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