Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
