Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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