dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
