you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize