He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
