i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize