pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
