butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
