i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just cut my nipple shaving
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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