I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
