can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
