Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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