We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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