weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize