This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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