I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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