genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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