honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
