that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
