just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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