please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
