not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
