Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
