So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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