I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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