The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
