HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
