So drunk its hurt
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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