So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
