he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
