yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
