heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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