we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
