i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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