So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
