Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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