I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
there's paper in my vomit.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
