worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize