I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
