I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
