remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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